When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Firstly of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there is no such thing as a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. As we speak we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re serious about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however for those who’re any type of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. When you’re not consuming through the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the very least 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel once you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is dependent upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see for those who may make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. When you spend a whole lot of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in a whole lot of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You won’t even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been stuffed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that type of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I do not need an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when serious about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the idea that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and sensible, mannequin to make use of in relation to speaking about alcohol is the thought of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t have to hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

When you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our mates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you’ve got ideas/suggestions for how one can make this a part of my way of life with my consuming mates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new mates – haha. However, critically, if your pals really respect and help you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently attempting to push you to begin consuming once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definately would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s worthwhile to determine for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m proud of consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit of extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. When you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s type of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam